Climb Time: Vegas is Hell

Work's been mental so lording has been slow but I managed to get some time off and finagled a trip to Red Rock in Nevada. I've been struggling with the mental aspects of climbing lately so I planned a very mellow itinerary that featured long routes but 0 stress to remind myself a) that I actually do like climbing and b) WHY I like it. 

Our 'menu' was Birdland 5.7+ and Solar Slab 5.6, two classic trade routes that usually guarantee a conga line. With little ambition to push the limits, Trevor and I were down to wait around if we needed to and just have a nice relaxing adventure in the sun. 

So we headed out towards Vegas on Thursday night after I wrapped work and got as far as Primm, NV. 
Not much to say about Primm other than: "bleak". It used to be known as State Line, was established around a gas station - since replaced by cardboard casinos - and exists solely to cater to gamblers, jonesing so hard for a game that they can't wait to get to Vegas which is only around 45 miles away. 

We swiftly left Primm in the morning and finished the trip to Red Rock. A few logistical hurdles later we parked up in the lot for Pine Creek and hiked into find Birdland, a very chilled 5 pitch route with 1 pitch worth writing home about  - the fun finger crack at the top. 

Birdland's P3 traverse

The view across from Birdland - Red Rock geology is so in your face

Not much to say about the ascent - funeventful good times. Trevor bagged a couple of leads - his first on multipitch climbs - and I found myself feeling comfortable for the first time in a while. 

The only other company we had on route was a party of two guys above us, one of which Trevor described as 'naked'. I figured he meant he was just shirtless or wearing some skimpy shorts but when I saw him rap down I realized he meant 'naked'. At first I thought the guy was wearing skin tight flesh colored leggings or something but as he got closer I could see his arse crack I figured out what was going on. 

My first thought was that he shitted himself on the approach so I asked him "bro, did you shit your pants?" and he just replied, "nah I just like the breeze" like he was telling us the time or something. I felt for his partner, having to stare up at his balls and arse crack all day but I figured we were in Vegas and it's hell after all so really not that surprising that a guy like this would be so casually forcing his patriarchy into our eye holes.

This is him, attempting to proudly wink at the camera:

 

The rappel descent was fine, more or less, despite my worried predictions of stuck ropes.... that is, until we got our rope stuck on the penultimate rap. More than anything it was just annoying. We did some shenanigans trying to free it from below but eventually I had to climb half way up the pitch on the remaining half of our rope and was luckily able to free it from the chicken head it was stuck behind. After down climbing back to Trevor, we got the last rap set up and made it to the ground in one piece, making it back to the car just as night set in.

Dinner that night was Chipotle and bed was in a true hell gate casino hotel called Circus Circus. Total freak show. Thankfully we were torched enough to not really absorb the goings on around us as we made our way from parking lot to hotel room. A summary of our surroundings would read just like any other Vegas trip report in that we were in the hell mouth where the membrane between our reality and hell is as thin as it can get, to the point where the osmosis of sin occurs and produces the type of corrupt goblin we found ourself amongst.

Next morning, early. 

We drove out to the Oak Creek South parking lot (outside the scenic Red Rock loop), suited up, hiked for an hour and change and made it to the base of Johnny Vegas 5.7; the approach climb that takes you to Solar Slab.  On our way we met some friendly older hikers who puffed up our egos with a request for a selfie with us, inflating our heads enough to make us lighter, in turn allowing us to climb easy. 

The dawn walk in. Solar Slab can be seen lit up on the right side of the canyon

Johnny Vegas was a fun jaunt with 2 pitches of climbing and 2 pitches of low angle scrambling. We took our time on the first two pitches but made up for it on the last two which we both finished in under 20 minutes, half the time it took us to make it up each of the first two. 

Solar Slab from the bottom of P1. Worth clicking for the full image.

Psyched up, we decided to make some time up on Solar Slab too and opted to simulclimb pitches 1 and 2. A good approach until I got greedy and kept moving on up pitch 3. I ran out of gear, had to set a belay in the middle of the pitch on shitty gear and belayed Trevor up to the 2nd pitch anchor to have him lower me off to meet him at the anchor where we could swap gear in comfort. I was feeling a bit sheepish and guilty that he had had to simul-follow which is a pretty bad experience when you're not moving fast.

Trevor was on lead on P3 which felt a lot harder than the 5.6 it was meant to be. We found out later that he'd led the 3rd pitch of Arch Enemy, a beautiful 5.9 finger crack in the middle of the slab. He cruised it thinking it was just a tricky 5.6 and when we learned the truth we understood that the best climbing strategy is to just convince yourself everything is easy by knowing as little as possible. 

Pitch 5/6 on Solar Slab was a fantastic hand crack that went on for a full 70m rope length. Totally mindless, totally comfortable crack swimming. It was the kind of pitch that made you want to sing when you get to the top and made you wish it would never end. From there we made our way up the final pitches, mostly scrambling, occasionally pulling an easy move until we found out way to the summit. 

Trevor walking up to the summit. 

Obligatory...

We'd made it up Johnny Vegas and Solar Slab in around 8 hours. We chilled, puffed a summit cig and took in our surroundings before making out way to the Painted Bowl descent - 3 raps into a beautiful sand stone amphitheater, glowing from the last rays of the sun bouncing around the canyon. 

Rapping into the Painted Bowl

Trevor arriving at the IBM Boulder

The walk back to the car was brutal with both Trevor and my legs and joints starting to give out. Totally worth doing though - I'd do it again for sure. Beautiful scenery, spicy alpine rappels, little to no chance of stuck ropes. The whole day was a truly glorious adventure. 

Wild sandstone

The aforementioned alpine rap anchor... the close up is of, yes, a chunk of aluminium loosely slotted into a hole in the rock. For a trade route descent, this jive ass (but bomber..) anchor was an unexpected sight.

We made it back to the car about 3 hours after summiting and headed for dinner. Initially we were planning on an all you can eat steak-athon but decided to go back for more Chipotle after realizing that being around people sounded pretty terrible after a day like ours, especially Vegas people. 

We bailed on our plans for harder but shorter routes on Sunday and instead took our time leaving the hotel. We grabbed breakfast at the Black Bear diner, I treated myself to a mint chocolate cream pie (it was as gross as it sounds unfortunately) and we hit the climbing store to replace a couple of lost nuts. 

And then we drove back feeling sore but happy - the best outcome for a quick climbing trip. Hungry for more, looking forward to the next adventure and I'm psyched on climbing again so ultimately a successful mission.